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I Thought He Was the ONE, but I Was Wrong

He had everything a husband should be

couple holding hands
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With this ring..

couple holding hands

I was going to get married to someone that’s very prominent and notable. If I said his name, many of you would know of him. I think back to when after the relationship ended I initially questioned the breakup, thinking satan was the culprit behind the demise of the relationship. But early on when the breakup happened God said to me, “It is not My will for you.”

Husband Material

I didn’t understand. This guy was what many would deem marriage material, the ideal husband. He was a devout Christian, well established, and quite the charm, and to put the icing on the wedding cake, he absolutely adored me. He actually came after me and pursued me relentlessly when I wanted nothing to do with him. He was enchanted when I finally began to surrender to his pursuit. He made up in his mind that he didn’t want to spend his life without me. I was going to be his wife.

Finally, I’m going to be a wife, just not today…

shallow focus photography of woman holding a diamond ring


But that was not God’s will. That’s not always easy to come to grips with when you’ve planned your whole life out with this man, you have your future kid’s names already picked out and a blueprint of the life you’ve planned together; not only on paper, but it’s etched in your heart. And to have to divorce the marriage before it even begins is one more relational funeral that I didn’t see coming. What you thought for sure was the one, is not. And now you have to pick up the pieces of your broken heart and attempt to put them back together while starring at the blank canvas of your life that no longer exist with him in the picture. Think about that, the life you planned ahead no longer exist and now you’re looking through the telescope of your future and you see nothing but uncertainty, because what you planned no longer exists.

Philippians 4:7 TLB

“If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful thank the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus.”

Even though I didn’t know why this was not God’s will for my life, those broken, shattered pieces of my heart had a magnetic force of peace that put it back together. You see, attached to God’s will comes with a supply of His peace and that peace actually caused me to quickly move on. You girls would be proud of how I shook my emotions by its collar and said, “Straighten up and get in alignment with God’s will.” Yes, you must never let your emotions have the say-so over what God said. The worse thing you could do is fight against God’s will; it never goes well. Knowing that it was not God’s will was the conduit that protected me from trying to revive and breathe oxygen into a relationship that God’s approval wasn’t on. With my heart and head held high, I prayed for him and peacefully and amicably moved on without closure. A couple months later, I was minding my own business, and logged on to the Internet and there blasted across the screen was the announcement of his engagement! What the hello kitty!!! How? When the ink on our engagement divorce hadn’t dried! Before I could even get my emotions involved in it, I sincerely congratulated him and wished him and his new soon-to-be wife God’s blessings. He said to me, “Ty, your calmness, your sincerity, your forgiveness, your grace…you’re a better woman than I’ll ever be a man.” <– Can someone please insert a hair flip emoji right here!

Without disclosing what he was talking about, I had no animosity towards him, not 1 bitter, jealous vein was running through me. (See, I’m still protecting him til this day.) With all the glitz and glam, high profile life, money, and ministry fame, satan will have you thinking you missed out and that “that was supposed to be you as his wife enjoying that life.” But every time that thought came to my mind, I immediately dismissed it because I know I did not feel that in any way; I knew it was satan trying to taunt me but I drop-kicked him, throat-punched him every time he would say that was supposed to me. Now I often see him in the news and media with some very unsettling and ungodly things going on in his life and I lift my hands and thank God! That could have been me in the midst of all those disturbing things going on in their life and marriage, had I went against God’s will. And I could have, because I could have excused it as satan trying to block God’s blessings because it all the kit and caboodle Christian checklist. Though it seemingly had all the components of what a Christian relationship should be and he had all the checks of the ideal Christian husband, you don’t always see what God sees. And that is why you have to just trust God, without verifying, questioning, or fact checking Him. I didn’t see what God was telling me then, but now I know exactly why God blocked it! It’s not always revealed to you and you don’t always know why, but you must always trust God’s ‘no, that’s not My plan for you.’ You must trust when God says he’s not the one. You have to always trust what God blocks.

 Ty Adams excerpt from #SingleGirlDevo  2020 ©

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